17 Things I Wish People Shared About Becoming a Mom

17 Things I Wish People Shared About Becoming a Mom 

Becoming a mom was the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me, bar none. But that isn’t to say it hasn’t come with its challenges and surprises. There are so many resources for new parents, that it might seem silly to think that there are things that might catch you by surprise. 

After working with children for five years, and babysitting for years before that, I thought I had a pretty good grasp of what to expect when it came to babies and kids. I was totally surprised when there were many things I simply…didn’t know. So today I’m going to share with you 16 things I wish people shared with me before becoming a mom. 

You Become a New Person

Your very genetic makeup changed when you had your baby. It is only natural that your personality or views might change as well. I find myself discovering who I don’t want to be pretty regularly. Negative things that I used to just accept no longer sit right with me. I find myself having more patience and adjusting my speech so that I am presenting a better version of myself because there is a pair of little eyes watching everything I do. I want to be better and more for my son, and I am evolving to do so. 

So Does Your Spouse

Likewise, my husband has become more steadfast in his beliefs, and less rigid with what he thought he would teach our son. It is easy to be a perfect parent before you have kids, but we have both had our ideals challenged and grown as adults separately and together for our son. Be willing to meet your spouse where they are as a parent and work together to find a new normal together.

Becoming a mom means that your husband also just became a dad. And that is going to stir up a lot of emotions and make you both look at things a little differently.

You Will be Up Every 2-3 Hours at Night

When people told me that I would be getting up in the middle of the night with my son, i thought well yea, DUH. It did not occur to me that I would get up repeatedly. I thought it was like once a night, twice if they’re sick or going through a growth spurt. I did not realize that it would be every 2-3 hours every single night for months. 

Not to mention, I have a hard time falling asleep normally, so I was awake for about an hour after my son fell back asleep. 

So your nights will look something like: falling asleep for two hours, getting up with the baby, nursing, changing, rocking to sleep (which takes about 2 hours), and then going back to sleep for an hour, rinse and repeat until dawn. It just did not occur to me that it was so constant. This is your warning: You will get about five hours of sleep per night, but it will be broken up all night long, so you’ll never be truly rested. 

Have faith that this tragic sleeping pattern will end as your baby grows and can sleep for longer stretches without needing food. But those first two months are rough. 

Old Activities Might Not Have the Same Appeal

I used to love riding roller coasters, going to haunted houses, and generally things that spike your heart rate. Now? I have no interest. I’ll watch from a distance, thanks. You may not have any interest in going out for drinks with coworkers because you’d rather be home with your baby. Maybe your hobbies are put on hold for a bit while you adjust to this new life change. 

Your Values Might Change

While you may have been career focused pre-baby, that may change once she’s here. You may decide that your church is starting to preach on values that don’t align with yours. Maybe you’ll find yourself being drawn to a healthier lifestyle for the sake of your baby. Whatever it is, your values will most likely shift in a way that provides something better for your child and that is perfectly okay. 

You’re Going to Cry. A LOT.

You may think that you’ll be crying a bit from joy, awe, or even exhaustion. I’m here to tell you that whatever amount you think is right, you’ll want to double or even triple your expectations. 

My baby hiccupped? I cried. I was so tired I cried. My husband made dinner? I cried. I tried to jump and wet myself? You guessed it: I cried. 

Some People Might Not Understand Your Priorities

And that’s okay. People without children have not been altered the way you have. Grand parents remember what you are going through but are not in the thick of it day to day. Your coworkers are not in the same place in their lives and thus, their priorities are different.  

Those other people are the ones keeping society running while you soak up newborn snuggles. Just like you did pre-baby, and will do again when your child is older.

Your Body is Going to Change

You might think I’m talking about pregnancy weight but there’s more. During Pregnancy, your rid cage widened, and your hips may be slightly wider after giving birth, making your gait slightly different.

• My husband calls my weird upper body strength “mom strong” because I can hold my toddler endlessly without needing to set him down, much longer than my husband can!

• Your butt might go a little flat. Whether its due to a loss of muscle or the infamous frog tuck moms tend to do, my backside seems a little less round than it used to. This can be worked on and strengthened over time, just be aware that your backside may look different in the beginning.

• My hair texture and growth rate have totally changed. Some women have bald spots from postpartum hair loss, while others have a ton of breakage. My hair decided to grow four inches past my ears and just stop, leaving me with a weird lion’s mane around my head most days.

• My feet widened. I had heard talk of women going up in shoe size after pregnancy, but never about widening. I was quite sad the day I had to let my favorite pair of shoes go. 

You Might Become More Emotional Overall

I used to love watching Denzel Washington in pretty much anything. Now, I’m likely to turn into a puddle of tears during some of his movies (John Q, anyone?). The mere mention of a sick (or worse) child or pet and I’m sobbing. 

Cheesy romcom where someone’s mom has passed? Tears are coming. The underdog scored a touchdown and wins the big game? Trembling lip. Thinking about all the injustice and terrible things going on in the world? Straight rage. My husband looks sexy playing with our kid and being a great father? A more racy emotion 😉

You Realize how Fragile & Special Life Is

Having my son made me much more soft-hearted. I feel so deeply and am ever-aware of dangerous situations. I want to protect him and let him grow. Keep him safe and allow him to figure out his own way. It is an internal struggle and one that may never go away. 

I once read that becoming a mom means a piece of your heart lives outside your body for the rest of your life and I think it rings incredibly true. I can’t remember where I heard it, so if you know the source, let me know!

But it makes me hyper aware of my surroundings. I pay attention to strangers in public places, and have strict rules about walking on sidewalks when cars are present. You may find yourself researching ingredients in food or cleaning products or making more cautious decisions with your own body as well.

Newborns Make a Lot of Weird Noises

Everyone thinks about crying and the little coos that newborns make, but no one warned me that my son was going to be grunting and snuffling and generally making a fuss while asleep. Every snort and huff and click (yes, even some clicking noises!!!) would make me jump up to check on him.

We quickly learned that newborns just make a lot of weird sounds when they’re sleeping. The more you know. 

You’ll Finally Understand Why Your Parent Friends Became Obsessed With Them

When your girlfriend had little Annie and couldn’t wait to show you the same 47 pictures of her learning to use a spoon, it was kind of annoying right? Like it just wasn’t that interesting. Once you have your own, you’ll finally get it.

I can look at videos of my son all day, even if I was the one filming! Every new discovery, every step and word is so mind blowing and cool. To this day, I can smile and nod at acquaintances and their children but I am enraptured with my own. 

Breastfeeding Might Not Be Easy

I thought babies just kind of knew what to do, and latched on and started drinking. That is not the case. Just as you have never breastfed, your baby has never breastfed either. It is something you’ll have to figure out together. You may want to speak to a lactation specialist if you are having trouble. Your doctor should have a list of resources for you. 

Also, breastfeeding can be REALLY FREAKING PAINFUL! I thought my chest would hurt for a bit as milk was coming in, but it can be ongoing. Not to mention when your child grows teeth, they can accidentally bite you. 

You’re Going to Be Lonely

When you’re up at 3am for the umpteenth day in a row, it can feel like you’re the only mom on the planet. Honestly, I don’t know how our parents did it before the widespread internet. Check in with other mom friends or make some via social media or a local meet up. And of course, PLEASE reach out to me, I love making new mom friends! You can also check me out on Instagram!

You’re Going to Smell Really Bad

At least for a little while. It’s no secret that babies are messy, but the amount of smells they produce is unmatched IMO. Especially if you are breastfeeding, you will have all kinds of weird smells happening in those first few months. 

• Dried breast milk smells terrible. You’ll occasionally leak, which leads to sour milk smell. Pro tip: my mother in law layered beach towels underneath her when she had my husband, and if she leaked while sleeping, she’d strip off the wet towel and go back to sleep so that she didn’t have to change the sheets in the middle of the night. 
• Formula smells bad. So no matter how you choose to feed, the food is going to be smelly for quite a while.
• You may be extra sweaty. Many women experience excessive sweating postpartum. Your sheets may soak with sweat while you are sleeping, and you might sweat through your clothes while you are awake. 
• Spit up smells bad.
• Poop smells bad.
• You are going to be bleeding for at least a few weeks after giving birth. No matter how you deliver, your body still needs to heal from the inside out. And while your ‘period’ may not smell bad, it has its own odor that is adding to the plethora of smells around you.
• You won’t be bathing as often as you did pre-baby. I got to a point where sleep was more vital than bathing, and many other new moms do too! So you may have a little extra stank on you for a bit. 
• You may be snacking in bed more often than you expected (versus eating in the kitchen or at a table), which leads to leftover food and/or crumbs. Leftover food = excess smells. 

Rest assured that this smelly stage does not last forever, but it is something I was completely unprepared for. 

You Might Want Another Baby Immediately

I knew at 3 months postpartum that I wanted another baby. Even as rough as those first few months were, I knew I’d endure it all again and more to have another baby. Becoming a mom is lifechanging, but doesn’t necessarily mean every family wants or needs multiple children.

You Might Realize You’re Done Having Kids

my cousin was immediately aware that her daughter would be her only. And they are perfectly happy with that decision. Their family felt complete after one and I think that’s beautiful. 

Your Sex Life Might Change

Obviously, it is likely that you won’t be doing any hanky panky for quite a while after your baby is born, but eventually you and your spouse may want to reconnect physically. This can come with it’s own set of challenges or surprises.

A friend told me that after having kids, it felt like her organs shifted a little and she and her husband were able to have more intense bedroom sessions.

Another friend mentioned being much more in tune with her body, and therefore felt sensations stronger than she did pre-birth. Another friend expelled breast milk during the act. 

I have had friends that have waited past when their doctor gave them the all clear because they weren’t comfortable in their new bodies.You may have to wait 8 or even 12 weeks postpartum because of birthing complications. 

You may feel disconnected from your husband or intensely close to him. Many women experience less personal lubrication after giving birth, and others still find new erogenous zones. 

*DISCLAIMER* I am not a medical professional. Please speak to a doctor regarding any concerns you may have with your body or sex life. 

This list is in no way exhaustive, but I hope it sheds some light on the lesser known goings on of new mom life. Did you know about any of these topics? What would you add to this list? What do you wish someone had told you about becoming a mom? Let me know in the comments below!