21 Intimate Questions to Get to Know Your Spouse Better

21 Intimate Questions to Ask Your Spouse

Have you ever been on a date with your husband and felt like you couldn’t think of anything new to talk about? After you’ve been together for a while, you can fall into a pattern, which can be comforting but a little tedious at times.

It does not mean you and your spouse don’t love each other anymore. It just means you need to shake it up a little! I’ve compiled a list of my favorite Intimate questions to ask your spouse.

Why intimate, you ask? Because asking your Honey how his day was every day becomes monotonous and might lead to you feeling disconnected. Give your relationship some power and depth with these thought-provoking questions.

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Intimate Questions for Couples

• What is an area in our relationship that you think I could improve?
• How can I better help you when you have had a stressful day/week?
• What is something you think we could start doing (together) to make our marriage better a year from now?
• Is there a way we can reconnect?
  • Do we need to try some hobbies as a couple?
  • Should we develop hobbies separately?
• How do you think we could better set our kid(s) up for success emotionally/mentally?
• If either of us was given a terminal diagnosis, what steps would we need to put in place?
  • How would we handle talking to the children?
  • How would we manage expectations from extended family?
• If you had to start your career over tomorrow, would you work in the same field or pivot?
  • Why?
  • What field would you transition to?
• Is there a new hobby you would like to try but have been holding off on for some reason?
  • What is the reason?
  • How can I help you achieve it?
• What can I do to help you succeed in XX area of your life?
• How do you think you or I could build a stronger bond with our children?
• What is a nonnegotiable that you want to teach our children?
• How do you want to be remembered when you are gone?
• What is a childhood memory that brings you joy?
  • Sadness?
  • Disappointment?
• What is something from your childhood that you would like to recreate for our kids?
• Are you happy with the direction our lives are headed?
  • If yes, what is going well?
  • If no, What can we work on to make it a Yes?

• What does retirement look like for you?
  • Are we saving enough to get there?
  • How old are you at retirement?
  • Are we living in our current home/city?
• What would your perfect day look like?
  • Where is it?
  • What are you doing?
  • How can I help you achieve it?
• How would you describe our last year of marriage?
  • Are there areas we can improve?
  • What worked?
  • What do you want to see more of?
• Where is one place that you want to take our children?
  • What is the importance of it?
  • How can we make it happen?
• What is one belief you have that has changed from when you were younger?
  • Why?
• Where do you see our lives in 5 years?
  • What looks different?
  • What do we need to do today in order to make that happen?

Most of these questions are deep enough to allow you to expand them on your own, but I included some follow up questions as well. These heavy hitters are sure to get your mental juices flowing!

To make it even more fun, write down the questions on little pieces of paper, fold them and put them in a jar. Take turns pulling them out and asking each other these intimate questions. This can be a fun little at home date! If you’re interested in other dates you can have at home, check out this post. You are sure to learn something about each other, and quite possibly about yourself!