How to be More Present as a Mom

How to be More Present as a Mom

Hi Friend!

Do you feel like you’re just getting by each day? Does your overwhelming to do list keep you from interacting with your children in a positive way? Are you struggling to be present as a mom? I feel you. I’ve been there. Today, I’m outlining the steps I take to be more present as a mom. I hope they help you as much as they’ve helped me. 

Shift Your Mindset

Some days it feels like I have so much to do that my son is an afterthought. I catch myself becoming annoyed because he’s interrupting while I’m trying to clean or organize or declutter. 

But here’s the thing: he’s not interrupting. He wants to spend time with his mama, and she’s choosing to focus her attention elsewhere. It is unfair to my toddler to be upset that he’s…acting like a toddler. Toddlers don’t care about laundry or bills or messes. They’re happy just to be with you. Being able to recognize this made a huge difference in my attitude towards my son and my role as a homemaker. I was able to be more present as a mom when I kept my priorities in check.

When you find yourself becoming frustrated, take a deep breath and a step back. Remind yourself what’s most important, and I’m willing to bet those dirty dishes can wait just a little longer. For some ideas on how to be more productive, check out this post.

Make a List

Sometimes it’s helpful to see everything I need to get done. I’m a huge fan of lists, so writing down (or typing on my phone) all of my to-dos puts into perspective what I need to get done. Sometimes it’s not as much as I think. Sometimes it’s way more. 

But after making the list, I take it a step further and separate the list into three categories: Must Get Done, Want to Get Done, and Can be Done Later. If I feel like I’m neglecting my child’s needs, I immediately take all the Later tasks off my list. It almost always becomes apparent that there aren’t as many urgent tasks as I previously thought. It also comes to light that something I just want to get done for peace of mind or satisfaction. Those tasks aren’t urgent. 

List making does a few things to help me become more present as a mom. It takes a few things off my plate for the time being. It puts into perspective how much time I actually need to devote to chores. And it allows me to stop working without feeling guilty and spend time with my son. 

Make it a Game

If that laundry really needs to get done, turn it into a game. For younger children, just helping mama move laundry from the washer or dryer can be a game. For older children, time how fast they can do it. Have a contest to see who can fold a towel faster the best or hang up a shirt the fastest. Play a game such as I Spy or ask your child to tell you a story while you work.

PS: this laundry stain treater is a total game changer! Your kid’s clothing will look as good as new!

Kids love games and contests, don’t be afraid to have a little fun while working! Even if the dishes are put away wet or that closet isn’t organized exactly how you like it, your kids are going to remember how much fun they had with their mom, instead of how much she worked around the house. 

If there is no way to make it a game (because you need to use harsh chemicals or dangerous tools), take a break from your task and play a game with your kid instead. Pull out the soccer ball and have an impromptu match in the backyard. Play hide and seek or grab a board game. Wait until Dad is available to help, either with the task or corralling the kids. Wait until nap time, or when a friend of family member is visiting so that you can safely do the task. 

Put Down Your Phone

I know, I know. I’m guilty of mindlessly scrolling  as well. But there’s a time and a place. If you’re  having family time, your phone should not be in your hand (unless you’re snapping a pic of your adorable kid!). Being present as a mom means saying no to distractions and focusing on what’s important. 

I also try to wait as long as possible in the morning before getting on my phone. I find it helps me be more productive during the day, and less likely to hop on whenever I have a free moment.

Take Time for Yourself

If you never have time to yourself to recharge, you’re going to burn out. Having time to myself gives me more patience, a more thoughtful outlook, and less reason to feel frustrated. I fully believe that I am a better mother when I get alone time. Have dad or a trusted friend or family member take the kids for an hour or two on his day off so that you can sit in silence, take a bath, read a book, or do whatever it is that brings you joy and makes you feel like you again. You can check out my post on self care for moms for some ideas!

It is also important to move your body everyday for your health, but I would argue it is even more important as a parent. Being the healthiest you can be is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children in my opinion. Exercise is a fantastic stress reliever, and it models healthy behavior for your kid. You don’t have to lift heavy weights or even have a gym membership if that’s not your style. Swim, take walks, join a softball league, do yoga, follow a YouTube dance workout, belly dance, salsa dance. Whatever form exercise takes for you is great! But do it for your kids and for yourself. 

Being present as a mom is not always an easy task. I remind myself often to circle back to these ideas and really focus on being in the moment with my son. What tactics do you use to be more present as a mom? Let me know in the comments below!