8 Unexpected Ways a Baby Changes Your Marriage

8 Ways a Baby Changes Your Marriage

Babies bring so many changes to marriage, some obvious, and others not so much. When navigating parenthood with your partner, it’s nice to be able to expect some of the changes that might take place. 

Today I’m sharing some unexpected ways your baby could change your marriage as well as explaining common reasons behind some of the more well known changes. 

Your Schedules Will Change

This may sound obvious. Like duh, Kelli, of course the baby will have to get on a sleep schedule. But what I’m talking about is the amount of time it takes you to get pretty much anywhere. 

Getting your baby fed, changed, and into the car takes significantly longer than just grabbing your bag and going. But you also have to keep in mind that you may have to feed, change, or soothe your baby while out and about. 

Ps: I’ve got a whole post on running errands with your baby. Go check it out!

The baby might have a blowout that takes twenty minutes to clean up before you can actually go inside the restaurant. Your baby might be teething or going through sleep regressions or getting sick and therefore you may have to leave that dinner party earlier than expected. Any of these (and more) can affect your ability to keep a tight schedule, at least for a little while. Remember to work together through the difficulties and you’ll find a new schedule together. 

You See Your Partner Differently

That suave, put-together man that wooed you is going to be so tired. He’s going to ask dumb questions that feel obvious. He’s going to have spit up on him and be forgetful. And he’s also going to be a Dad, which you get to see unfold day by day. He’s going to make your baby laugh and hold you when the postpartum hormones overwhelm you. 

You will see your partner become a new version of themselves and it’s going to be really cool, and frustrating, and heart wrenching all at once. Be aware that you will both be quite vulnerable after the baby arrives, so do you best to be understanding and ask the same of your partner. 

You may see your usually confident husband totally lose it the first time he deals with a blowout. You may see your usually stoic partner tearing up at the sight of the perfect little creature you created. The funny kid you met in college may have a more serious outlook on life while in the newborn trenches.

Small Annoyances May Become Bigger

You may have been able to overlook your husband not rinsing out the sink after brushing his teeth before the baby and find that it now drives you bonkers. 

Communicate your need for help (be it cleanliness, help with feedings, or something else) before losing your cool. It is always better to address the issue prior to blowing up. He may not have known it was an issue. And let’s be honest, the first few months post partum you are both so tired and overwhelmed that it may be a total accident. 

Your Time Devoted to Each Other is Limited

Prior to a baby, you have all the time in the world to plan dates, get gifts, and talk with interruption. After having a baby, you have to be much more dedicated to the time you do have available. Check out my post on 25 at home dates for when you can’t get out of the house but want to have one on one time. 

You Get to See Your Partner be a Parent

Every new stage with our son allows us to try new things with him. Seeing my husband just be a dad has been such a heartbreakingly beautiful experience. Watching him grow as a father and just as a human has been so, so cool.

It also gives you a chance to allow him to parent differently from your own style of parenting. This, I think is helpful for giving your child different lived experiences. While it is certainly true that having a baby changes your marriage, I think it is overwhelmingly for the positive.

You’ll Become More Succinct in Relaying Information 

I’m a talker. I tend to over-explain my reasoning or give waaayyyy too much detail that my husband doesn’t really need. But as my son gets older, I am learning to whittle down the information I need to give my husband. If I really need to talk to him about something important, I save it for a time when our toddler won’t interrupt. 

We simply do not have the time to explain in-depth every decision or action to each other. So we (specifically me) have learned to adapt. My husband does not need to know that I got chicken thighs because they were out of drumsticks and even though the recipe calls for marinating overnight, I only had thirty minutes so they might not be as flavorful but I’m really hoping this will help our toddler eat more vegetables because it is all mixed together with the chicken. This word vomit helps no one. He simply needs to know I made dinner and our kiddo is still avoiding peppers.

Your Sex Life Will Change

This can be a positive or a negative, but either way, your sex life will look different post-baby. Outside of healing from giving birth and the exhaustion that comes with a newborn, you may find it more difficult to find the time for bedroom Activities when you have a baby. You may find yourself being more attracted to your husband or find that sex just isn’t high on your priority list right now. 

You Might Become Firmer in Setting Boundaries

When my son was a newborn, I found myself constantly stressed that loved ones weren’t doing things the right way. I was worried and lashing out and overall not super pleasant to be around.

I had to learn how to set boundaries that respected my loved ones but also made me feel confident that I was doing what was best for my child. Stay tuned for my post about setting boundaries as a new parent. 

Having a baby changes your marriage in unexpected ways. Be sure to navigate these changes with your partner. You are a team and you just added a brand new teammate. 

If you are looking for ways to reconnect with your spouse after having a baby, click here. 

You can check out my Instagram page where I share weekly hacks for moms. Be sure to give me a follow while you’re there!